when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
