SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
