I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
