I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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