That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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