i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
