Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I touched a dick in church today
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
