She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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