No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
