He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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