If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
