Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
