I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
