i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is wine microwaveable?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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