12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
