Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
