ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
