it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
