it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
