you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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