He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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