My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
