I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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