No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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