I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
