I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
