I just saw a hot homeless man
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize