Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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