shes about as inviting as chlamydia
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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