If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
