Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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