This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
