Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
