i already hear my dad disowning me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
