Taylor Swift is so right about you.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
