is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
