lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
