Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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