ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
