thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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