On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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