Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
