At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
