i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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