I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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