Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
