if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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