I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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