So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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