i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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