Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
