i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
