Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
foreskin is a definite game changer
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.