is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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