I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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