So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i think i just lost a toe
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
