i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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