people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
